Why Pooh Sticks is the best we're going to get from this Labour Government

Yesterday, in Parliament, something remarkable happened.

Over 100 MPs came to a drop-in on water. The room was full — campaigners, experts, communities — all bringing the same message: our water system is broken, and it needs fundamental change.

We showed clips from Channel 4’s Dirty Water. We heard the evidence. We laid out the reality of a system that has prioritised profit over public good for decades.

And the Water Minister, Emma Hardy, came.

She listened.

She watched.

She nodded.

And then she refused to answer the question.

Not just the big one — public ownership — which she would not even allow onto the table. But even the most basic one: is what the government is currently doing actually working?

No answer.

And that tells you everything.

Because here is the truth: We are being offered tweaks, reforms, and regulatory reshuffles when what we need is transformation.

Instead of real change, we are getting Pooh Sticks.

A game played on the surface, while everything underneath continues to rot.

We Only Know the Truth Because of Citizens — Not the State

Let’s be clear about something.

We do not understand the scale of this crisis because of the

Environment Agency.

Or Ofwat.

Or DEFRA.

We know because of people like Ashley Smith and Professor Peter Hammond of Windrush Against Sewage Pollution — who spent years painstakingly uncovering what was really happening.

Illegal spills.

Systematic underinvestment.

Data that didn’t match the story we were being told.

Without them, we would still be in the dark. That alone should terrify us.

A System That Extracts — Not Serves

Private water companies have around 62 million captive customers. Over the years, those customers have paid over £85 billion to shareholders.

Not into infrastructure.

Not into fixing leaks.

Not into protecting rivers.

Into profits.

This is not an accident. It is the model.

And it is a model that no other country in the world has chosen to follow.

Around 90% of water globally is in public ownership.

We are the outlier — and we are the cautionary tale.

The Government’s Position Doesn’t Hold

We are told:

• it’s a regulatory failure, not a profiteering one

• the White Paper will fix things

• public ownership is too expensive

• it’s too complicated

• it will take too long

None of this stands up to scrutiny.

You cannot regulate a monopoly that is structurally incentivised to extract profit. You cannot fine companies into caring. You cannot reform a system that is doing exactly what it was designed to do.

Even now, when the government tries to clamp down on bonuses, companies simply redesign pay structures. Nothing changes.

Because the problem is not behaviour.

It is ownership.

It is structure.

It is purpose.

The Cost Argument Is a Distraction

We are told public ownership will cost £100 billion.

But this figure is built on a flawed methodology — based on Regulatory Capital Value, not real market value.

Thames Water alone is “valued” at £21 billion under this logic — yet cannot attract £4 billion in real investment.

At the same time, the government admits it has not even assessed the long-term cost of continuing with privatisation.

So we are told public ownership is too expensive —without any understanding of the cost of the alternative.

Meanwhile:

• over a third of our bills go to financing costs

• debt interest alone swallows up to 50% of bills

• customer bills are funding so-called “investment”

This is not investment. It is extraction.

This Is Now a National Risk

This is no longer just an environmental issue.

It is:

• a public health issue

• a business risk (water shortages, unreliable infrastructure)

• a cost of living crisis (rising bills, growing water poverty)

• a systems failure affecting public services and the economy

We are running a critical national infrastructure system for profit — and it is failing.

There Is Another Way — And We Know It Works

Public ownership is not radical.

It is normal.

Across Europe and the world, water is treated as a public good, not a commodity.

There are multiple models:

• fully public

• mixed delivery

• municipally owned systems with contracted operators

Paris brought water back into public ownership in 18 months:

• bills fell

• transparency increased

• long-term planning improved

We are not short of options.

We are short of political will.

So What Are We Being Offered Instead?

A White Paper that:

• allows companies to postpone fines

• asks regulators to “understand” company pressures

• focuses almost entirely on regulation

• avoids the central question of ownership

In other words:

More Pooh Sticks.

And Meanwhile — The River Waits

Communities are stepping up.

Across the country, people are monitoring rivers, gathering evidence, speaking out.

They are doing the job that regulators failed to do.

They are becoming the voice of the river.

Because right now, the river has no one else.

The Question Labour Won’t Answer

Yesterday proved something important.

MPs are engaged. The evidence is there. The public is ahead of the government.

But Labour is still refusing to ask, let alone answer, the central question:

Who is water for?

Until that is answered, nothing will change.

Because This Isn’t About Regulation

It’s about whether we continue to treat water as:

• a commodity to be exploited

or:

• a public good to be protected

  
  

Right now, this government is choosing the former.

And until that changes,

Pooh Sticks is the best we are going to get.

With huge thanks to Becky Malby, Clive Lewis, Dr. Roz Savage, Compass, Channel 4 & the whole team.